The Case of Cognitive Dissonance: Why We Justify Bad Decisions
Have you ever procrastinated on an important task, even though you know you shouldn’t? Or maybe you’ve kept up a habit like smoking, even though you’re aware of the risks. Perhaps you’ve signed up for an online course, excited to learn something new, but never quite finished it. And then there’s social media—scrolling for hours, even when you feel like it’s not the best use of your time.
We all do it from time to time. As a counselling psychologist, I’ve seen this pattern repeatedly—smart, self-aware people making choices that seem to go against what they know or believe. It’s not because they’re being irrational or careless. It’s because of something called cognitive dissonance, a fascinating quirk of the human mind that helps us make peace with decisions that don’t quite align with our beliefs.
Understanding How Cognitive Dissonance Works
Think of cognitive dissonance as that nagging feeling you get when two parts of your mind are in conflict. It’s like having an internal tug-of-war between what you’re doing and what you believe you should be doing. This mental tension creates a kind of emotional discomfort that’s hard to ignore – similar to that uneasy feeling you get when you know you’ve forgotten something important but can’t quite remember what it is.
Let’s look at that social media example. You might tell yourself, “I’m just staying connected with friends” or “I need to stay up to date with current events.” These aren’t necessarily false statements, but they help quiet that uncomfortable feeling of knowing you’re spending more time scrolling than you’d like. With the unfinished online course, you might think, “I’m just waiting for the right time to focus on it properly” or “I’m too busy right now, but I’ll definitely get to it soon.”
The Psychology Behind Our Justifications
Our minds are incredibly creative when it comes to protecting our self-image. When faced with the disconnect between what we do and what we believe we should do, we employ sophisticated mental strategies.
For example, think about someone who keeps putting off exercise despite having a gym membership. They might tell themselves “I’m too tired today, but I’ll definitely go tomorrow” (rationalization), or “Missing one workout isn’t that big a deal” (minimization), or focus only on the times they did make it to the gym while ignoring the many times they didn’t (selective attention).
Why These Mental Shortcuts Can Hold Us Back
While these thought patterns might make us feel better in the moment, they can prevent us from making meaningful changes in our lives. When we constantly justify our procrastination, we never develop better time management skills. When we make excuses for our social media use, we miss out on more fulfilling activities or genuine connections.
Breaking Free: A Better Way Forward
As a psychologist, I’ve found that awareness is the first step toward change. Here’s how you can start handling cognitive dissonance more productively:
- Notice Your Patterns
The next time you catch yourself making an excuse, pause and observe it with curiosity. Are you telling yourself you’ll “start the diet tomorrow” or that “one more episode won’t hurt”? Simply noticing these thoughts, without judgment, can be eye-opening.
- Embrace the Discomfort
Instead of rushing to justify your actions, try sitting with that uncomfortable feeling for a moment. What is it telling you about your values and what matters to you? That discomfort can be a valuable signal pointing toward positive change.
- Ask Yourself the Hard Questions
When you find yourself making excuses, try this mental exercise: Would you accept this same justification from a close friend? What would you tell someone else in your situation? Often, viewing our behaviour from an outside perspective can provide clarity.
- Make Room for Growth
Remember that changing ingrained habits takes time. Instead of expecting perfection, aim for progress. Maybe you won’t completely break your social media habit overnight, but you can start by setting aside phone-free times during your day.
Moving Forward with Self-Compassion
Understanding cognitive dissonance doesn’t mean you’ll never experience it again. The goal isn’t to eliminate these mental conflicts entirely—that’s probably impossible. Instead, aim to recognize when it’s happening and use that awareness as a stepping stone toward better choices.
Remember, we’re all human. We all have moments where our actions don’t perfectly align with our beliefs. The key is to approach these moments with curiosity and compassion rather than judgment. By understanding the way our minds work to protect us—even when that protection isn’t helpful—we can begin to make choices that better serve our true goals and values.
What justifications have you caught yourself making lately? Starting to notice these patterns is the first step toward making more conscious choices that align with who you want to be.